The Slip

I heard you know about her,

Much more than you knew about me.

How her blue chiffon dress reeked of Davidoff,

And her red lips of Maybellline.

I heard you visited her,

Last night was it?

Your blue striped shirt smelt of it.

And your eyes leaked red.

La nuit la apporte la paix.

The night brings peace...

When was the last time,

I turned around to see you slumber,

I do not remember…

I still baked your apple tarts,

Warm and crisp,

With castor sugar

Sprinkled across them.

It turned cold…

On the teak wooden table,

Of the deserted dining hall,

We had designed together.

I feigned I did not know,

Nor cared, nor bothered,

That you knew her,

More than me.

But tell me,

Will you ever forgive me?

If I had ever slipped…

Slipped...

When you first saw me,

Serving warm earl grey tea,

In a white porcelain cup,

While you sat with your parents with glee.

Slipped…

When the black ink ran out,

From the reynolds ball point pen,

While signing the papers,

At the office of the marriage registrar.

Slipped...

When the ring,

Carefully chosen by you,

Found difficulty in travelling,

Through my ring finger.

It rained heavily last night,

Did you know?

Did you smell the rain?

How could you?

You were busy smelling her blue chiffon dress,

That reeked of Davidoff.

Did I tell you?

I slipped in the rain last night...

La nuit la apporte la paix.

Does it really?

Its human to slip...

But you hated me to be a human

Is it?

3 words long...

You sat next to me,

Close to me,

But exactly 3 millimeters away.

You sat,

I sat,

Our knees 'almost' touched,

Almost 3 millimeters apart.

I counted,

You counted,

Both our heart beats,

It felt like 3*3*3 beats per second.

The cell phone beeped,

For the 3rd time,

In the dark auditorium,

On the 3rd seat from the rear.

The phone displayed,

A message, 3 words long.

You came closer,

By 3 millimeters,

I stayed still,

For 3 seconds.

Then 3 things happened,

Over 3 nights,

But in the 362 nights remaining,

I stared at the stars,

While you stared at the moon.

I wished for 3 similar things,

While you blinked 3 times,

I spoke for 3 seconds,

While you kept silent and typed,

A message 3 words long.

The auto stopped at pincode 330-033,

Where you paid 3 rupees as change,

To run away to your room on the 3rd floor,

Opposite the 3rd coffee shop on Ripon Street.

That Day,

The cell phone beeped for the 3rd time.

The phone displayed

A message, 3 words long.

No it was not the same message,

That I read,

In the dark auditorium,

While staring at the screen,

For 3 hours long.

My tears froze for 3 seconds

And I walked away briskly,

On the 3rd Avenue of the new concrete town.

Of Joy and Pain

There were no shadows,

Only bodies,

Close together,

Under the dancing rains.

The drops drenched the two souls,

Moving under the same skies,

They smiled at the healing drops,

Separated by a deafening distance.

Her mac played Madhaniyan,

His resonated Chal Diyay,

Till the dark grey skies

Could hear their cries

Of Joy and Pain.

The sky cried too,

Along with them,

The cry for freedom,

The cry for liberation

Of Joy and Pain.

The Sabarmati overflowed,

As she felt the wind,

Touching her unwanted skin,

Till she rinsed her heart

Of Joy and Pain.

The parched grass,

Amidst the tall concrete,

Where hundreds convocated

With great difficulty.

Where nights and days

Flowed freely,

Like the drops trickling

Down the grilled balcony.

Where the eyes met,

And lips could not speak,

Coldplay's Scientist

Did all the trick.

Drench you heart

With Joy and Pain

Drench your heart

Till it can feel again.

Take my heart

If you cannot feel

Take my heart

Before it stops to beat.

Let it breathe

Of Joy and Pain

Let my heart

Love you once again.

I Do Not Know

I do not know who I love

I do not know who I hate

I do not understand people,

I do not understand fate.

I do not know my mother's best friend,

Have I ever tried to?

I know my father is lonesome,

I know he wants to be free.

I know I want to run,

I know I want to flee,

But from whom or for how long?

Till I understood what it meant to be free.

What is freedom?

The space between

You and Me.

Is it vacuum?

Is it non-judgement?

Is it cocaine?

Is it ecstasy?

Do you talk about things

That you already know?

Do you talk about things

Completely unknown?

Do I talk?

Let us talk?

You have no time

I am lost in thought.

Do you consume the liquid

To alleviate the pain?

Do you release the rings

To disguise and feign?

I hate the taste,

I love what I hate,

I love the feeling,

I hate what I love.

The Neutrogena Rain Bath

Makes my unwanted skin breathe

Before it ceases to love

Before it ceases to feel.

It travels with the body

It travels through thoughts

From meandering labyrinths

Filled with bumpy shocks.

I do not know who I like

I do not know who I love

I do not understand the difference

Or why is it an incentive for breaking up.

Is it important to know everything?

Is it important to be free?

The margins of space are limitless,

The space between You and Me.

Remember me

Will you remember me,

Even if I don't remember you?

Will you remember me,

Even if I forget to remember you?

Will you remember me,

Even if I feign to remember you?

Will you remember me?

Will you remember,

What remains of me?

I Lost You

You asked me… Who do I like?

I told you the truth.

You asked me… Who do I love?

I lied to you.

Because I did not know

How to tell you,

Or if you had the heart

To listen to the truth.

The lover I loved

With my heart and soul,

You left him at the corner gate,

Then you held my waist,

My best mate,

And tried to kiss me

In the dark night,

Under shadows of leafy silhouettes,

Influenced by the liquid,

That took away your soul.

My soul disappeared,

My skin turned pale,

I tried to find grip,

Amidst the concrete stones,

But you bit my neck,

In the sharp darkness

Of the pitch dark cave.

Yet,

You smiled in the morning,

Holding your hot coffee cup,

And patted the shoulders

Of the boy I really loved.

You winked and said sorry,

I had already forgiven you last night,

But I lost you my best mate,

In the darkness of that night.

Just a random stranger...

I had faith in you.

Like the first gold coin,

I purchased with my meager saved salary.

You had told me to

Melt the gold.

So that all would become yellow.

And you could soak yourself

In all that you thought was precious.

I hate being rude,

But your measurement

Of what is precious

Is cheap to me.

You polish your skin with diamonds

But are you happy chewing them?

Your teeth might break…

Don’t chew them.

Oh! Who am I to stop you?

Neither your friend nor foe,

Just a random stranger

Trying to understand your sadness

That will make you happy,

When you peak into your life

After I go.